Body Rockin': The 5 Worst Designs Featuring Body Parts

We are big believers in the idea that good design is scaled for the human body, making it both functional and beautiful. But sometimes designers, inspired by  human anatomy, take the concept a bit too far. Even seen as a joke, some of these are eye-searingly awful. Warning: These designs are not—we repeat, not!—pretty.

1. Whimsical or just wacky? Paris-based Samal Design has created a line of tables with life-like legs. Offered in metallic purple, blue, green and gold, designer Dzmitry Samal refers to his work as "New Retro-Futurism." We called it a Kubrickian dystopian nightmare. Built in polypropylene plastic, the tables have a metal skeleton (so to speak) and his line of furniture also includes chairs and mirrors with more male legs.

2. Perhaps Samal was inspired by none other than hip hop artist and producer Pharrell Williams? Back in 2008, Williams had a gallery show in Paris at Emmanuel Perrotin Gallery. Included in his gallery show were chairs featuring human legs in bright colors. Apparently they were produced in several colors and buyers had a choice of seats in veal skin (yikes!) or leather. Williams said he was inspired by the Eames Chair but wanted to update it with a hip hop sensibility. We wonder what Eames aficionado Ice Cube thinks.

3. Bringing new meaning to the phrase "lighten your hair" this lamp by Anika Englebrecht is maybe a distant realtive to Cousin It? Much like your childhood Barbie dolls, you can brush, style and cut your lamp's hair any way you like it.

4. Well, we hope these don't stain. This mug is hand carved, was just $24 (though we're having a hard time tracking down a retailer that has it stocked, it's probably for your own good) and has no tartar build up.

5. But the absolute WORST, most horrifying, ugliest product we've seen possibly in our entire lives, has to be this nipple milk jug. Yes, this mug by designer Christine Chin dispenses milk according to, um, stimulus. According to the designer's web site: "Sentient Kitchen takes inspiration from some of nature’s most ingenious engineering. Why not take advantage of the mammary gland’s unique relationship to milk?" Ok, fine, but we have to ask - what is up with the hair on the mug? (Update: If you want to see something even more disturbing, take a look at the 19-minute video featuring kittens.)

After all that disturbing imagery, we need a palate cleanser.

Ah, much better.

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